You are the physical expression of that which I sent forth, physicality enables self-choosing, enables the soul to know itself as peace love, or, disharmony fear. I state this to bring conscious awareness of the uniqueness of the human family in its ability to recreate, enhance, its physical life path.
I speak of this now as so many feel a sense of being out of step with those around them, feelings that often have their beginning in childhood when the sense of self, sense of purpose, becomes redirected through following the desires of the caregiver.
All who have care of a child guide them through their own experiences, understandings, the following words offer another perspective to be thought on, accepted if it sits light within, left if it does not.
The infant child appears to be in need of total guidance when in truth at birth and for several years ahead they are ‘all knowing’, this enables them to step forth on their chosen journey. Awareness of all that they are, all there is, empowers them to establish their physical self and know conscious awareness of life purpose.
Many parents, caregivers, have the belief they own the right of total control of the child, not just in infancy but throughout their growing years, total control, ‘what I say goes’. Until verbal skills are realised the infant child will display through behaviour its disharmony and discomfort with the way of the ‘owner’, with the ability to give voice to their thoughts the child will seek to make heard its desire to take part in the decision making.
Parenthood is the giving of self to enable a safe haven for the infant as it grows into its ability to self-care; it is the offering of love, sustenance, warmth, and a directing guidance that shows the child its power of choice. Each day will offer opportunity for this to be, not only in times of disharmony but also when questions arise within the daily pattern.
Until recent times there was little protection for the child from those who chose to inflict the many acts of violence upon them, both society and the caregiver able to dictate where and how the child would live, little heed taken when the child cried for help. The right of the child to be treated with dignity and respect is now recognised, it is the communities way of saying enough.
This is good first step but many caregivers are the product of their past and emulate the way of the one who had their care. Though some desire to parent in another way they have yet to understand they have the power to, be another way, and so when met with what is quite simply the child seeking to be heard they re-act instead of act .
Some, desiring that their child’s life not be as theirs, have chosen to turn from a violent way of parenting so permit their child total freedom of expression; though this may seem a loving way to the child it is as a ship without either rudder or anchor.
A child has need of a rudder to aid direction for it will hear many conflicting opinions, even within the family group, without one willing to listen, discuss, offer thoughts, understandings, the child will begin to flounder.
A child has need of an anchor, not one that will hold it in place but one that will offer a firm foundation; when the home is a place of accepting love and trust this is the role the caretaker provides.
Accepting love, accepting of the right of the individual to have a different thought about something, accepting the right of the child to express its thoughts, to try them out for the young mind life is unexplored territory, with each stage of development their horizons expand and questions arise.
Expressing their thoughts to one who is willing to listen, who will in turn share their thoughts, enables growth in understanding and a realisation of their ability to communicate with openness.
The way the young choose to express their self is in accordance with the pattern they have grown with, instead of challenging them, if you find their way unsettling, pause, take time to think on the way of all who have their care, for just as a mirror reflects the image you show it so does the child.
Honest appraisal then honest discussion will bring awareness of what is to both caregiver and child, offering opportunity for both to think again and choose what works for them through what does not.
Demonstrating that all have the power and right to think again offers the child the key to their realisation of self-creation, enabling them, when ready, to take hold of the rudder and become self-directing.
All choose to enter the physical realm and know the influencing pattern of those they term family, some will experience apart from their birth family but those who have their care are still as family, this is just the beginning of their journey for there are many aspects to be explored, experienced, thought on, and then accepted or turned from.
As the child begins to mingle with those outside the family unit it will explore in a wider field of thought, a necessary stage of their journey of self-exploration. When this begins take time each day to share the highs and lows of both your day and theirs so that the child grows with the awareness that it does not have to keep hidden thoughts that seem apart from that previously known.
Their awareness of their changing physical ability, and greater freedom to express it, will often create a confusion of mind, as they grow into awareness of adulthood many will choose to follow the way of their peers, to seek out those who appear to be of like mind and purpose, for to the youth it seems that those of another generation do not understand their way.
While in companionship with others one who has grown with the knowledge that it has both the power and right of choice will retain awareness of its individuality, of what sits comfortable within and what does not, their open awareness will enable them to know they have the right to question that shown them through and by another’s way or words, this will aid them to find direction.
Thought will ever be the Creator so when discussing aspects of the day let this be part of the discussion, speak of the joyful moments as well as those that brought discomfort. Express your own moments; equality of purpose becomes a sharing of both aspects of way.
Awareness that the anchor offers stability whilst permitting freedom of movement, freedom to explore, question, ponder, will aid them as they take hold of the rudder and choose what they believe will work for their way at that time.
Physical life is opportunity for soul growth, growth that arises through the meeting of self, with the realisation of the power of choice all experience becomes opportunity to think again.
Disapproval of an action chosen, words expressed, should be confined to what is, not dwelt upon or revisited. Expressions of disapproval when seeking to guide the young will fall on fertile soil when tempered with love.
Speak of feelings, aiding a child from very young to be aware of their feelings will enable later choice be founded upon this basis, ask them if the way followed is bringing a sense of peace, or a sense of being ‘out of step’.
Speak of lightness of being, speak of the sense of feeling heavy, closed off, a feeling of needing to hide or step back. They have the right to not share all the events of their day but ask them to think on the things they feel they cannot openly express, if there is something they now don’t feel right about ask them to think on what they believe they would like to do, or how they would like to change what was.
Tell them that nothing is beyond their ability to find their way through, and that you will stand with them. Through the caregiver hearing and accepting what was without condemnation, offering instead love and trust, they will feel empowered to take the step that enables self-growth.
Give the child the gift of truth, let them know that you too do not always choose what works for you, that you too know times of confusion, doubt, that you realise it is often through those times that you come to understand what does work for you.
The words I offer here are not commandments but guidelines; children seek direction and understanding through the present wisdom of those who have their care. I say present wisdom as both child and adult grow and expand through experiencing, when the caregiver offers love and respect, regardless of age, then awareness of equality of expression permits each to admit there is something they do not know at present, and shows a willingness to explore this with the other.
The caregiver does not need to subjugate their way, their desires, so as to better the way of the child, nor provide all so that they never know what it is to not have something for a desire to achieve, and the seeking to set this in place, is a wonderful foundation for the knowledge of self-creation.
The child chose to enter into your care; your home and circumstances provides the perfect stepping-stone as they move into self-care for it is as they have chosen to know.
The caregiver is of equal importance within the family so be true to your way, be true to your own inner awareness and you will know within a sense of balance and harmony. Be mindful that each member entered the physical realm for the self same purpose, that each is individual within the family unit and has the right to find what works and what does not for their way.
When there are periods of unrest, dissension, look first to self for at some level you have chosen to know this time. Nothing enters your way without your permission, the one that you share the experience with is as an angel bringing you the gift you have chosen to know, opportunity for you to experience, opportunity for you to choose how you will be within it.
The adventure that is physical life becomes one of shared highs and lows, without both aspects understanding would not have opportunity to flourish.
Laugh together, play together, let no daily tasks be more important than a time of sharing love and laughter. All are as a gift to the family, look for the blessing in each other, honour it and all will be uplifted with the knowledge that they are recognised and accepted.